If you have experienced labor, what was yours like?
I have only recently spoken to my mother about her experience with losing a child. Speaking in terms of mother to mother, not mother to daughter. I wasn't able to understand the effects of what that experience must have been like... until I had my own son. Everything becomes much more vivid and what ifs start to plague your thoughts... remember last week's discussion on fear? It a wonderful talk with my mother that day. It brought forth many tears, a story too personal to share here because it is not mine to tell.
Lynnette talked about struggling for along time after losing Josiah. And one thing that I will always marvel at is how God will give a woman/mother strength to continue on for the sake of her family. Lynnette had two children to take of, as well as a husband. She couldn't lay in bed all day, she couldn't shut out the whole world of responsibilities and duty to stay locked up. Certainly there must have been those days in order to grieve, but then the realization would set in - you are needed! You have children that need you. I think this would be one of the hardest things of dealing with grief and having the responsibility of your family.
"If God said to you, 'Lynnette, I am going to give you a son. He won't be with you long. I am only going to leave him with you for five days and then I am going to take him back. But I have a plan. Will you accept this assignment." pg. 72.
What would you say?
Did anyone start bawling when they read that part? I literally shut my book and just sobbed. How so utterly true is that question? on so many levels! First of all, Lynnette absolutely accepts because she would take any assignment if it meant pleasing the Lord. If He asked something of her - she would accept. I completely agree with that. I was feel the same way.
But I have to admit - that wasn't my first reaction. Oh - I would most definitely accept his request of me. But my first thought was a selfish one. My initial response was to say yes - because I would want to know that child. I would want to be affected by that child. I would want to carry that child inside of me. I would want to give that child unconditional love and warming comfort while God allowed him to stay. I would want to be moved and forever changed for having loved and lost that child. Yes - I would choose the pain and sorrow over never having experienced a life such as that. How does the old saying go? "Better to be loved and lost, then to never have loved at all." That's so cliche, but quite fitting... right?
A new, beautiful way of looking at God's lessons and joy through such saddening sorrow.