"Long gone are the days when I carried you in my arms." read the cover of the card displayed with a pair of baby feet on a light blue background. I was forced to open the card, because there had to be something cheerful written within... that cover statement was just too depressing.
"But I will carry you in my heart all the days of my life." read the inside. I think it was a birthday card, but I didn't pay attention to that. I was just so sad when I read that card. Not only is this mother not carrying her baby boy anymore, but those days are so far in the past that they are referred to as long gone. Then I asked myself - "why am I at Walmart at 7:30pm instead of rocking my little boy in my arms, before he falls asleep?" That's where I belonged. Rocking my son in my arms, while I still have him in my arms.
There have been a lot of things weighing heavily on my heart lately. I have prayed. I feel mentally and emotionally exhausted and yet it is only the beginning. I am not ready to write about them yet. So I fear that while I have been absent from here for a while - it may continue to be that way for a little while longer.
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4 comments:
I really like the words in that card. My mind instantly thought of a woman who has lost her child and I thought of your mom.
April, I am praying for you.
Aww, praying for you!
Praying for you April.
Caroline
I've had lots of heavy heart kind of days these last few months. The stress of life and certain situations is so overwhelming sometimes. I was feeling consumed by my thoughts by the other night and I felt the Lord ask me why I've been trying to take everything on by myself again. I had to ask him to forgive me and start all over.
I'll be praying that things get better for you!
Hugs,
V
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