I was walking through Walmart the other evening. I wasn't even looking for cards, but as I was walking by that department - I happened to see a card that grabbed my attention.
"Long gone are the days when I carried you in my arms." read the cover of the card displayed with a pair of baby feet on a light blue background. I was forced to open the card, because there had to be something cheerful written within... that cover statement was just too depressing.
"But I will carry you in my heart all the days of my life." read the inside. I think it was a birthday card, but I didn't pay attention to that. I was just so sad when I read that card. Not only is this mother not carrying her baby boy anymore, but those days are so far in the past that they are referred to as long gone. Then I asked myself - "why am I at Walmart at 7:30pm instead of rocking my little boy in my arms, before he falls asleep?" That's where I belonged. Rocking my son in my arms, while I still have him in my arms.
There have been a lot of things weighing heavily on my heart lately. I have prayed. I feel mentally and emotionally exhausted and yet it is only the beginning. I am not ready to write about them yet. So I fear that while I have been absent from here for a while - it may continue to be that way for a little while longer.