Friday, April 17, 2009

ok God - you have my attention... again!

Yesterday was a rough day for us here. Paul's day (scratch that) Paul's week at work was a struggle. A combination of people waiting until the last moment to ask for help and still being short handed. He fights through his day to come home to see Baby Man. But yesterday, he made it home alittle earlier in response to a frantic wife holding a screaming baby. Yup - Jackson had a tumble. I am not going into details, because it kills me to relive the moment in my mind. I had called the nurse and she had instructed me on what to be mind full of as far as warning signs go. He did not need to take him in to the doctor - but I think I needed a sedative. Poor little guy was understandabley unhappy the remander of the day. I won't get over that I allowed it to happen.
I was feeding Jax is avocados yesterday for lunch (pre tumble) and was talking to God. I had just read a woman's blog who had lost her newborn and I was feeling an overwhelming amount of gratefullness for my child. I had told God I didn't want to let Him down, I didn't want to let my son down.... and He answers me with this terrifying episode in the afternoon. After my baby's fall, I held him tightly on the couch with tears running down my cheeks - I thanked God for protecting my son. I had realized that Jackson's cheek was red and little scratched, not his head thank goodness!

What I have learned is that I wasn't as prepared for a crisis as I thought I would be. I was under the impression that I am good under pressure and would feel confident that I would be able to control the situation and take appropriate action. That is NOT what I felt when I laid my son down on the carpet to check him over. I decided to take a CPR class at the hospital scheduled next week. I will be damned to feel helpless like that again. I would never forgive myself if I let my son down, by not having the knowledge that is so readily available to me. I would never forgive myself if he was seriously hurt because of my negligence. I do believe this is a hard lesson that God is teaching me. He wants me to take those classes... so I won't let Him down again, so I won't let my son down again. I hear you God - loud and clear! I won't need You to use my son as an example again.

Paul had gone in yesterday evening for his permanent bridge replacement. Low and behold - it didn't fit appropriately! Of course not!... Apparently, the dentist made a few other comments about the piece that he would like to change. So, aside from the uncomfortable fact that Paul had to endore yet another fitting of his teeth/gums... I suppose this is a good thing that he gets another attempt at a bridge (on their dime), making more cosmetic changes as well as a fitting adjustment. We will be waiting yet another 3 weeks for this 2nd replacement.

We spent a good portion of today outside enjoying the amazing (sadly, not lasting) warm weather. We will be taking Jackson for his 6 months appt next week thursday, his 6 months photos at Sears on Saturday. We will probably be searching for a lawn mower at Sears while we're there too! Yippee!! Have a nice weekend everyone!

1 comment:

Jamie said...

Oh April!! I know how you are feeling, I need to get registered for a CPR class too because I know I'm not as prepared as I thought I would be.

On a side note...I'm so impressed Jax is sitting on his own!!! I hope my kids will be there soon. We're doing our 6 month pics on Friday. I can't wait to see how Jax turn out, too.