Thursday, September 2, 2010

37 weeks and thoughts

37 weeks 4 days   *sigh*

One word: uncomfortable

My appointment went well today.
2-3 cm dialated
70% effaced
-2 station

So she isn't engaged yet, and hasn't moved down since last week. I have gained a pound and half since last week, probably all of the tootsie rolls I have been snacking on. I bought a huge variety bag from Sams Club to fill Jax's pinata - and I shouldn't have opened it already :P

I tested positive again for GBS. No surprise there, I figured I would. Basically that means that I need to be at the hospital within 30-45 mins if my water breaks OR need to be there early enough during active labor to get 2 doses (4 hours apart) of antibiotics to prevent transmission to the baby. Well, with Jackson - I only received 1 full dose and they started the 2nd dose early because I was already 9cm by then.

With him:
5pm - started contractions after being stripped for the 2nd time at my 39 week appt.
8pm - omitted into the hospital
1am - delivered Jax

So my labor and delivery was pretty fast. I pushed for only 40 mins and that was delayed because my doctor wasn't there yet. I have concerns this time around because my doctor said that second deliveries almost always go much faster. How am I suppose to get to hospital with at least 4-5 hours of laboring time to ensure I get the 2 full doses of antibiotics... if this delivery is going to go faster than my first? I am worried that I won't have enough time to administer the antibiotics. Basically - if I even THINK that I am in labor - I need to get in the car. At 38 weeks with Jackson, when I was stripped the 1st time I went into laboring contractions 2 days later. I went to the hospital to be checked out, spent 3 hours there before being sent home. While it was a pain (and truthfully sad to be sent home) - I can't take the chance this time to either "wait it out at home" to determine if the contractions are the real deal or not.

I am such a planner, list writer, note taker, list REwriter.... having every detail of this event completely at random and not planned ahead .... drives me crazy! I know that in the moment, I go with the flow very well. But it's all the time proceeding that moment where I drive myself nuts making up scernarios just so I can "create a solution" for them and make myself feel like I have a good handle on things.


She'll be here soon.

I am struggling a little bit with knowing that the time is fast approaching when I will say goodbye to my son, kiss his lips and tell him mommy will be home soon. I will climb into the passenger seat of my car, heaving through contractions - thinking that it will be the last time I was with my son - just us 2. I will soon be bringing home a baby and no longer be able to give him my 200% attention. That makes me kinda sad.  I have been taking extra long hugs, extra long looks at him lately. He's my little boy, all I have ever known of being a mother. Soon our time will all change and life will be hectic for a while, but I hope that he will know just how much I love him and that my love will never change.



Crystal said...

Jackson is such a sweet, gentle, and smart little man. Even if he gets moderately jealous, I think it'll be short lived. No one that sees your family together could ever doubt the love you have for each other. They say the best gift you can give your child is a sibling. That being said, all valid concerns and worries I would have too. You're a great mom and Jax is now going to have a chance to witness it, as well as benefit from it (if that makes sense, I hope). I can't wait to meet Jaelyn!

Three Calhouns said...

You made me tear up reding tha last part. We are trying for baby #2 and I often think those things about Ella.

croleyc69 said...

What a beautiful post & I'm keeping you in my prayers. I have babies super fast and yes the second one comes faster.

I remember when I had Marie and had to leave Ridge. It was hard but he did well adjusting. I still love my moments with him today when it's just Ridge & I sorta like the way things used to be.

I'm excited for you & can't wait to see pics.


Kate said...

I feel the same way with Molly. I want her to still know she is important and loved. I know she will know, but sometimes it's hard! Good luck with getting there on time and in time!!

Holly said...

I think your one word sums it all up! lol Man, I'm so uncomfortable too! Having lots of BH and more left hip pain. Sorry to hear you tested + for GBS. :( I hope you can get to the hospital in time to get both doses but if they get in at least one that will be good.

I hate the not knowing too b/c I like to plan things out. It's driving me nuts not knowing when it will happen. I've been taking several EPO a day and the other night I did it vaginally. I've been walking on the treadmill at work on break. Maybe I should go jump on a trampoline! lol Just kidding!!