Always My Baby Man

On of my many projects to complete before we have company for jackson's first birthday is to finish our master bath. I am ashamed to admit that since we never decorated this bathroom, we never even had a decorative shower curtain hanging... just the cheap vinyl one :P


So I spend all of Jackson's nap today painting the trim/edging in the bathroom. I had taped it all yesterday and was going to get further today, until I realized that I didn't have a roller brush. I must have tossed the last one I had. So, it was just me and a paint brush!

A song came on the radio while I was painting. I don't listen to much country music these days so I decided to flip that on the radio. This particular song played a lot while I pregnant and I liked it at first, then was just over played.

"You're Gonna Miss This" By: Trace Adkins

She was staring out that window, of that SUV
Complaining, saying I can't wait to turn 18
She said I'll make my own money, and I'll make my own rules
Mamma put the car in park out there in front of the school
Then she kissed her head and said I was just like you

-Chorus-
You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These Are Some Good Times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by
He tells her It's a nice placeShe says
It'll do for nowStarts talking about babies and buying a house
Daddy shakes his head and says Baby, just slow down

-Chorus-
You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These Are Some Good Times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Five years later there's a plumber workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
She keeps apologizin'
He says They don't bother me.
I've got 2 babies of my own. One's 36, one's 23.
Huh, it's hard to believe, but ...

-Chorus-
You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These Are Some Good Times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna miss this
Yeah, you're gonna miss this

The part of the song that used to get me, was the second verse. Where the Dad is telling his daughter not to rush into starting a family. To just relax and enjoy being a married couple, just the two of them. When I was pregnant, I never once felt sad for the time we would no longer have as "just us two", but the idea had to settle... that in fact there would never be "just us two" any more.

But today as I heard the song, it wasn't the second verse that choked me up, this time it was the third verse. I was standing on top of the bathroom counter trying to paint where the wall met the ceiling, singing out loud and crying.

As Jackson's birthday is coming up in two weeks, I find myself thinking a lot about him as a baby. It wasn't long enough. I am going to miss these times. I will miss everything about it. All the bad things now that I wish would move on... I will wish I still had 10 years from now. This year went by way too fast for my comfort. I feel like once I finally get a handle on something... it changes! I get comfortable with a routine and Jax goes ahead and grows out of it. The plumber in the song still calls his 36 & 23 year olds "babies". And that breaks my heart.

Jackson will be 12 months in 12 days, he isn't a baby anymore. But this little man, no matter how old he is, will always be my Baby Man.