A Year Ago This Month

As my son's first birthday draws near, I will be taking the time to write a few posts of reflection. Recaping what has happened to my life since my son was brought into it. Many of you didn't read my blog back then. I started blogging when I found out I was pregnant. I wanted to use this as a way to stay connected with my friends and family. It wasn't until my son was born that I began to explore the world of BlogLand and make new friends here. I have met wonderful people and I have enjoyed reading about all your children, marriages, faith, hardships and joys. I have prayed and cried for many of you. I "fell" into an enormous, gracious christian based community here and I am very thankful to have all of you.

A year ago this month, I was ready to go! (Ok, not ready for the actual labor, but definitely ready to meet my little man!) Being me and my Type A personality, I had my lifestyle set for baby number one by the time my 1st trimester was complete. I had the nursery painted a light spring green (adaptable to a boy or girl) and had the crib set up. I was collecting hand me down clothes and pondering over baby names.

Last September, I was wrapping up my career as a hair stylist in an upscale men's salon. I loved my job. I had met so many great people. I grew alot there. My focus wasn't on God at this point, but I certainly came out of my shell. I learned how to approach people that I didn't know. I learned how to start up conversations with the introverted types and learned how to listen and give advice when asked. I was able to make people feel good about themselves. Giving a new clean haircut was always rewarding for me.

Photo taken 33 weeks pregnant

When I had one month to go in my pregnancy, I stopped working. At this time, Paul and I had already moved to Appleton so I was making a long commute. It was only safe to stay near my hospital in those last few weeks. It was these few weeks that drove me CRAZY. I was at home with nothing to do. Sure, I went to the Y each morning for a good 25 mins of elliptical jogging and stretching. But you can only lay outside in the sun for so long before your pregnant body screams at you to get in the air conditioned house!

I was thankful to never have gotten swollen ankles/legs (despite my 8 hours a day on my feet at work) and I was feeling good. Sitting for too long would hurt my rib cage because they would dig into my enormous uterus. I always wondered where in the world my stomach and intenstines went when my baby got SO big. LOL No wonder heartburn can get so bad!

My mom knew in my last week before Jax arrived that I was in need of some company. She had taken the day off on Tuesday, Oct 21st, the day of my 39 week appt. Her and I spent the day walking at the mall and talking all things baby. She came with me to the OB for my check up and ate dinner with us that night. It this point, I was already contracting and we were on our way back to the hospital within 3 hours from leaving the check up. I had asked my mother if she wanted to be in the delivery room with me. I know this isn't everybody's cup of tea, but this is the way I looked at it... when I found out I was having a boy - I had to take a few moments to "move on" from my thoughts that I was having a girl. I was sad that I wasn't having a girl, but I was NOT unhappy that I was having a boy. (Many of you who have these simliar feelings know exactly what I mean. I have been working on a post about ir for months and haven't published it yet.) Anyways, I knew how much my mother wanted to be there to see the birth of her grandchild, to see her daughter (the child that she created), complete a circle of life by bringing her own baby into in the world. I know I would feel that way if I had a little girl. It's different with a son (more on that in my future said post). I know it meant a lot to her that she was there, I was happy she was there.

This is the beginning of my reflections over that past year. I will not relive Jackson's birth story here, as many of you have read it before :) If you are interested, you can click on the labels off to the right hand side that indicate "Jackson's Birth Story".