Thursday, July 30, 2009

Read With Us - Chapter 3

Join us as continue Lynnette Kraft's In Faithfulness, He Afflicted Me.

Lynnette opened Chapter 3 with a question about despair. Why would anyone choose to feel sorrow when they can enter to peace? I think people chose despair because it is what feels natural when something so precious is taken away. I don't believe for many who are grieving, it isn't natural to receive God's peace (at least in the beginning). There is a time of anguish that needs to be processed and felt. Also, it takes a lot of strength and courage to accept God's gift of peace in difficult times. Sometimes it is easier to allow pain and sorrow to surround you because there is no strength left. Everyone that believes, will allow grace to warm their faces again... that time is different for everyone.

Lynnette talked about having this new concept of dealing with other's grieving over her child. I must take a large amount of strength to stand in that line in front of your baby's casket and hear all your friends and family say , "I'm sorry, you are in my prayers." And what would be worse, is hearing the wrong comment. Lynnette is right, people don't know what to say and they try to be comforting. But just as everyone deals with their grief on a different timeline, not everyone will be comforted by words as some might expect. I will admit, I am the "I'm sorry." commenter who leaves it at that.

On page 57, "It's sad how easy it is to learn firsthand of Gods love ,care and provision and then turn around and momentarily forget it all for the sake of fear." She is right, "Fear is a real and terrible thing." We can read and believe, even experience his unconditional loving grace but in the next moment lose touch of that feeling. God never recoils his loves so the loss of sight isn't due to an absence of it, but rather because we put up our own blinders and allowing fear to take ahold of our emotions.

II Timothy 1:7. Something I would like memorize!

"God hath no given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

What fears do you have that you feel you should give to God?
My own fears would be of the unknown. Obviously, the future is something we are suppose to not know - but there is a huge of fear that is associated with that. I shouldn't be fearful, but it's God plan and He knows what is best for me. The fear of having to deal with close/great loss. It's a fear of having to deal with that much pain, not believing I would be strong enough. I know the Lord would guide me through the darkness, it is just very hard to let go of that overwhelming, and looming fear.

Ah, the joys of having a baby girl. I do hope God has it in his plans that I will get experience this life with a daughter. We will be trying again October for a second child. I believe Lynnette's comment rings true however, I will be blessed and happy with the child that he gives me, a boy, a girl, healthy or not so healthy - that child will be a blessing. And if Jackson becomes an only child - we will be sad but know that God has other plans for us.



croleyc69 said...

What a great post. I hope you do get the chance to have a baby girl. They are such a joy. Whatever you do have I totally agree that it be healthy. Just remember the Lord is always near.

Holly said...

I love reading what you write. It's always so darn good. :)

There's a lot of people that fear loss so you're not alone in this! We pray for more children too. (Me more than him) I know how much of a blessing Carleigh is so to have a child that isn't completely healthy wouldn't really be that bad. I would be scared of course but I know God would get me through it.