Monday, July 20, 2009

Read With Us - Chapter 2

Join us as we continue this month's discussion on "In Faithfullness, He Afflicted Me."

There is something about a mother's intuition that strengthens the powerful bond from mother to child. Lynnette secretly knew there was something wrong with her pregnancy well before it was ever confirmed by her physican. I can't say that I have a strong mother's intuition. Maybe that will come with more pregnancies/children. But I always felt that my "intuitions" were manifested through my own fears and doubt. I would get this strong feeling that was more like "worry" if anything. I don't know if I would classify that as intuition. I suppose I just need to trust my feelings more.

Do you have a funny experience to share? What are some of the silly or stupid things you did? I definitely did things weren't smart due too unexperience. I don't know that they were quite as humorous as Lynnette's or Holly's :) Maybe, not changing my newborn's diaper fast enough so we got pooed on a few times. That wasn't funny at the time! He's crawling now - so let me get back to you all on that :)

Has there been a time in your life that you felt the world was falling apart? I would definitely say there were times when I felt we were at a dead end, or at a huge set back. But no - I would have to say thanksfully there has never been a time of this magnitude. I am in the state that Lynnette described up until losing Samuel. I lost my little brother when I was 4, but that isn't old enough to feel the immediate emotional effects.

What a surprise that their child turned out to be a boy after all. Being granted the unknowing foresight of dreams, both Lynnette and Kyle would have thought the baby was boy all long.

No one can say for sure how they would react when their child with a fatal prognosis is born. Of course, not until they experience it first hand. I suppose being on this side that experience, I would feel such deepening sorrow. I would be torn between the utter joy to be finally holding my baby in my arms and knowing the pending calling of the Lord could be only moments away. Lynnette said on pg. 46 "Even though we knew he'd only be with us for a short time, we celebrated his life. I was not as afraid as I had feared. I was not disappointed. I was excited that my baby was almost ready to be placed in my arms." And again on pg. 49 "I remember being alittle frightened. I knew Samuel was leaving us, and I was unsure what to expect. However, God gave us a gentle peace in those moments." I know I touched on this in my previous reflection, and maybe it's because I am fascinated that God is so merciful to extend peace if we are willing to accept it in those moments. Not needing to create our own peace, but simply receiving His offering.

I know that many would be too consumed in anguish to feel God's presence during those moments. Many would feel as though they were being punished by God. God does not punish with children, nor does He take children away as a form of discipline. He hurts as we hurt. It takes a believer to see the truth. Many say "Everything happens for a reason". But where do we find God in that statement? "Everything happens for God's reason alone"...? Or futher yet - "Everything God creates is for a reason."

How has difficult times affected your marriage? We've had difficult times before we were married, but engaged. We were living in Milwaukee and Paul lost his job. Like I had mentioned last week, Paul's parents graciously invited us into their home. It was a period of time that we are so grateful for because we were able to stabilize our finances and get back on our feet again, but at the same time - it was secretly stressful living in someone else's home. While his parents went above and beyond to make us feel as though their house was our house, it was still a transition that was hard on us as a couple.

What fears have you struggled with? My goodness - I fear that Paul will again lose his job because of this economy. The stakes are much higher this time because we don't have my salary to count on being a stay at home mom, and we have a child now. Having zero income would send our future in a whirlwind. I am not currently pregnant, but we will be trying soon and I know I will have pending fears regarding the health of my child.

I think that is so beautiful and true that through their pregnancy with Samuel, the Krafts allowed God to take the reigns on their family's plan. Not many do that in this day and age. Schooling is so expensive and with the rising prices of nearly everything - and the stationery salaries across the board; the idea of giving up your own family plans for His is a bit more difficult. But who ever said that material things should be the root of all happiness? Wouldn't a house full of happy children bring you more joy than the fastest car in the world? Wouldn't several grandchildren to share the holidays with bring you more LASTING peace than a yauct docked at an ocean marina? The Kraft family had their awakening during their pregnancy with Samuel. For if not for him, they may have stopped at 2 boys. Could you imagine that family with only 2 sons? :) We certainly wouldn't be reading this book. They have Samuel to thank for the rest of their family. Could that have been Samuel's purpose?

Do you feel that God has a plan for your life? Absolutely! The difficult thing however, will be letting him take ahold of my family plan and do what he will. We have many fears as I discussed above, and concerns about finances that would make us second guess a decision like that. I would be easier to pursuade than my husband...

What has been the hardest moment of your life so far? This is a hard one for me, because much of what I have recently experienced has been a fairly easy transition for me. Becoming a mother reiterated my calling, and although stopping my career for my little man wasn't an easy decision at first, it ended up being a simple move once it happened. I would say the greatest and hardest moment(s) in my life are happening now. The moments in which I am evaluting my own life, trading in my own defenses to take up a following with Christ. Changing things that do not fit His plan can be a difficult thing at times and being steadfast and strong while keeping my head pointed upward is so rewarding... but a challange at the same time. No one ever said being a Christian was easy!

How amazing that the Krafts were granted 13 days with their precious baby boy. Samuel was able to experience so much love and warmth from his family while he was here on earth. A beautiful baby, created perfectly by God's hand... too lovely for this world.



stitchndeb said...

You mentioned that if it weren't for Samuel that Lynnette and her husband might have stopped having kids after the two boys, and that never even dawned on me to possibly be part of God's plan! Wow, no wonder I'm having such trouble even seeing his plan for me, LOL.

The economy's scary but I think America's been through worse times than this (the '20s, the '70s) and everything turned out.


Holly said...

I bet your mommy intuition is stronger than you think. ;) And you know at that time I didn't think my poo experience with Kyndra was that hilarious but looking back now I find it so funny! Just a little story I can tell her down the road.

Those two quotes you shared from the book are so true. God can assuage our fears and give us peace in times when we don't think it is possible. I can certainly attest to that!!

That had to be difficult living with his parents. It was definitely very generous of them but being a married couple you really want to be out on your own. It's so nice to know though that family is there to help you out.

Many people are worried over their jobs. I hope you guys don't ever have to worry about that too. One of the things that Anthony worries over is expenses with having more children. Me, not so much. I know God will always provide. He's already proven He can several times!! I won't really worry too much about it until we reach that road but someday soon I'm sure Anthony and I will have to sit and talk about what we want for our family. I pray that He seeks the Lord's will and not just his own.

Being Christian isn't always easy but it is very rewarding too! And we know the greatest reward still awaits us.

Crystal said...

Sigh, another post = more tears! Why am I such a sap?!

I understand your fear about Paul's job (first hand). Things always, always work out for the best regardless of how you get there. Remember when we first met outside of class and I said how I wanted to work etc? Here I am, an EXTREMELY happy SAHM. That being said, you let Paul know you have our prayers.

Miss you!