Monday, June 7, 2010
"WHY "No" is every toddler's favorite work. WHY your toddler clings to you one minute and rejects you the next. HOW to undersand your child's sudden fear of familiar things like the bathtub." That grabbed my attention because it is exactly what we are experiencing as a family right now.
I could talk forever about this book and 100 different ways of why I think every parent should read it, but I will just highlight a few key ideas that struck me the most.
"Tantrums take a child to the very bottom of his being, helping him to learn that anger and despair are part of the human experience and need not lead to lasting emotional collapse. If the parents can remain emotionally available even while firm in their position of denying something, tantrums also teach a child that he will not be left alone in his "dark night of soul." " pg.39
Anger is a rightful emotion that children need to understand is ok to feel. An older toddler may respond to the parents saying, "I understand that you are upset over not getting the cookie, but you can not have the cookie right before dinner. You can have the cookie after dinner." This was how I understood being "emotionally available" for your child.
Describes in Detail the Types:
1. Easy Children
2. Slow to Warm Up
3. Difficult Children
4. Active Children
With every type of temperament, how the parent can respond in such a way that the child will respond. Each child's needs are different, but allowing your eyes to see what your child's needs are - is key. Then your response will follow either helping your child or possibley making the situation worse.
- How parental styles and secure base behavior coinside or conflict.
-Transition to childcare (relationships involved)
If you find yourself needing more insight into the mind of your toddler and would like to find ways to help your child cope with their neverending contradictive nature to explore the world and stay close to mom and dad... please pick up this book! It's been the biggest help I have found into understanding my little guy more and aiding me in how I respond to his needs.