Friday, April 9, 2010

17 weeks along and thoughts...

I had my 16 week appt yesterday which was thankfully very uneventful. Baby's heart rate is in the steady 150s. Could that mean a girl? I seem to remember Jax's settling around 130-140 bpm. This photo was taken today, one day short of 17 weeks.

I have my diagnostic ultrasound scheduled for May 6th which I am just over the moon about. I am so jealous of my friend Holly was able to find out her baby is most likely a little girl. I am thrilled for her and her family as they now can start calling Rainbow by her name, Lainey Iris.

We haven't begun to think about names yet. I think I want to save myself the brain power of deciding on a name for the wrong gender. :) Right away when we found out we were pregnant, both Paul and I thought "boy", but at the 12 week ultrasound, I was feeling "girl". And now I have absolutely no idea. :)
If this baby is a girl I will be so excited for all the reasons I have expressed in a distant post of its own. My conflicting feelings would be that Paul and I discussed ideally wanting a family of 2 children. I hate the idea of limiting my family due to finances, but it also important to us to provide for our children  with a great education and a safe home/community to grow up in. I remember a few years back I read the estimated cost for a child from birth to 18 years is $100,000. That number has most likely increased now. But getting back to my point, if this baby is a girl - am I able to settle with the fact that this is my last pregnancy. I know that God has his own plans for us and we could be surprised down the road with another child. But since we planned both of these pregnancies (1st try with Jackson and 2nd try with this baby), an "opps" just isn't something I see in our future. However, I won't say it couldn't happen. I am 17 weeks into this pregnancy and I haven't even begun to mentally prepare for what my life will be like with 2 children, how having a newborn will change everything again. I haven't really even gotten side tracked by the newborn clothing department at the store. My mind and energy has still so consumed with Jackson, I find myself still forgetting that I will soon be a mother to two kids :)

Now, if this baby is a boy we will also be excited. Jackson will love to have a little brother! I never saw myself to have two little boys, still dont really - but I am opening up to the idea that there is a good possibility this baby will be a boy. All the clothes we have for Jackson will fit this new baby (Jackson was born in October, new baby due in September). So that will really be nice! But onto the conflicting point, I can't say to myself I would be ok stopping our family at 2 children, because in my heart... I would still be longing for a little girl as well. I have already had that discussion on this blog, so I won't go there again. But how can I "argue" the point to my husband we could try again for a little girl - when there is no guarantee that the next child would be a girl :) 

God knows what is best for me and I am thankful that He already has our family formed. I am just along for the ride to see it all unfold in front of me. No matter what this child is, he/she will add a greater degree of happiness, laughter and love to our family and we are welcoming that with arms wide open.

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11 comments:

croleyc69 said...

Glad things are going good for you and baby. I'm excited for you and I'm praying you have girl. I never thought I would have 3 girls. I really wanted another boy but I was just as happy with a healthy baby. Prayers for you always.
Caroline

Holly said...

So glad for your update! :)

Your belly is so cute!! I need to call and see when for sure my US is. Actually, I have an appt coming up so I'll just wait til then to find out but I think it is either May 5 or 6.

Oh awesome if you were having a little girl! Lainey's HR has always been close to 150 so maybe your baby's HR could mean a girl? :)

I had a period of time when I thought I would be absolutely devastated if Lainey was a boy but given time I came to a point where I would've been happy with a boy.

It's really hard to think about it being your last pregnancy. According to Anthony this is it but I cannot accept that at all. It's not what I want and I think he needs to be more willing to have an open mind. His biggest thing is money but I believe that if it is God's will for us to have another child He will provide for us. What I want to do is just leave it up to God. No BC, no snips, no tubal.

Now I'm off to make my own pregnancy post!

Jamie said...

You are too cute!! You look do tiny in your picture. May 6th is my birthday, so its the PERFECT day to find out what you are having. I feel like its a little girl, too. I cannot wait to find out. You are right though, God has your family already formed so we'll all just have to see what His plan is.

Paige said...

We found out at 16 weeks with both our girls. Can't believe you have the will power to wait! Either way as long as the baby is healthy- it doesn't matter!! God always gives us what we need. The bump is looking very cute!!!

amanda said...

my advice, don't think of this pregnancy as your last. (even if it is) when i was pregnant with caitlyn we were 'done'. i fell into a depression during my pregnancy because i was so sad it was my last one. it was really awful. just keep trusting in God to lead and direct your family. the heartrate thing never worked for us, dustin had the same heartrate as his sisters did. either way, a baby is great and who cares what it has between it's legs right? ;0)

JillAileenJones said...

Thank you for your comment on my blog and for your prayers for my Brandon.
I am following your blog now-so cute. I grabbed your button as well. Can't wait to go over and check it out.
Thanks again.
Love Jill

Kate said...

So cute! I love the baby bump!! Eric always says "2 and we're thru!" But I am with you on not wanting to limit our family. I know God has a plan for our family.

Jen said...

Wow, this is my first time to your blog. Your little boy is precious and congrats on the newest little one.
Cannot wait to hear the gender :)

Melinda said...

Have you ever thought of adoption for #3? Just wanted to plant that seed :-) I also hate the idea of limiting the size of our family..I'd love to do another adoption and another pregnancy. My hubby says yes to adoption, no to pregnancy. We'll see :-) And you look beautiful and your belly is super cute too!!

Amber said...

For some reason, I'm thinking GIRL! I can't wait to find out :) My Jax's heart rate was always in the 130-140's, too.

kariet_zeigler0802 said...
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